I don't really have a bio which is done on purpose. The two famous writers I have asked to do their bio, both said ' it's already in my books'. I don't want to have to tell someone that ' it's already on my web page'. So settle for the faqs - that means frequently asked questions ...
1) Q: Who is Mulligan based on?
A: Me...
2) Q: who is Bruno based on ?
A: Me...
3) Q: Are characters like Kelly, Luigi,
Chris actually real people?
A: Yes. Kelly's name
isn't real, that's all.
4) Q: Have you really been to the Caymans?
A: Of course. How
else would I write about them?
5) Q: Then why are so many things inaccurate?
A: Because it's fiction.
If everything was real, it would be non fiction,
sell too well and I'd have to move to the Caymans to hide...
6) Q: In terms of writers, who's real, and
who's a pen name?
a) Upton N. Atom - yes - a real hobo - whereabouts
unknown - wrote a book called Just a Mulligan Stew. Spent his life
savings on printing 108 copies and gave them all away! Very rare, hard
to find! Both the book and Upton...
b) Bruno Atom - well the Atom is a rip off but don't ever make the mistake of asking Bruno if he's real. He's fuckin' real alright. Made a fortune on Sony stock just like he says...
c) John Boland - yes, he's a reclusive writer, lives on the West coast - has serious obsessions - latest being author/actor Spalding Gray as in www.spaldinggray.com
d) Ratz Garcia - nah, he's just a fake pen name when any of the above happens to be in NYC ... nasty guy ... claims to be Jerry's lesser known brother - yeah, right...
7) Q: Is the character Mr. Big real or just a rip off of the Chris Noth character and if so, why haven't you been sued?
A: Hey, get real. There's a chocolate bar named Mr. Big --- there's also a rock and roll band called Mr. Big. So there! Besides, if you've been to the Caymans, you'd know he's real. Box 17, Grand Caymans.
But if Chris Noth wants to be in the movie version of Murder in the Caymans, give me a call Chris ...
And if Sex and the City wanta sue, hey, that's just more publicity for me - probably get me on Ellen.
Q: Why are you kinda obsessed with www.deathclock.com?
A: Well that's easy. You see there's a few
people I want dead (I can't be bothered doing anything about it).
But every time I go to deathclock, I savor the knowledge that karma and dharma will probably kill them real soon ... and that makes me very happy. As Bruno would say, I ain't too good at compassion but I got that fuckin' revenge thing down pat ...
Alrighty then. Eight questions is enough for
now. But remember kids , keep those emails and orders coming, cause as
the man says: ' It's more hits, more rock, all the time!!! '
and the road to viral begins with one download...